Below are my fave selections from H50 Sardonic’s recap, here slightly edited and coming with pics/gifs. Find the original text here, courtesy of Maha the FUCUP Queen.
Cath answers his “Good morning, Lieutenant” with “Good morning, Commander” and I am already bored to sh.t by these two because McPanty Destroyer conjures images of drums, high heels, taffy, hair pulling and some biting… Definitely hair pulling and biting.… Not to compare, but here’s a comparison: Danno would have brought in ties — note the plurality — and his cane. “Cus that’s how it’s done in Jersey, b.tch.”
The Governor approaches and tells the 5-0s that a mermaid [drowned girl] was found earlier in the day, and though it’s usually HPD’s jurisdiction, it isn’t this time. She looks like she might cry and I wonder if the mermaid is a relative. I pause and investigate the Governor’s legs; they do not appear aquatic, but the world is filled with liars. Danno responds: “Don’t worry, in episode 2 we found a unicorn, so it’s all good.”
More stuff is said; the Governor promises them [the parents] that they will find Robyn [their daughter] and McG does something with his eyes that makes me think he just imagined a roundhouse kick to the Governor’s head. Danno looks like he might poke her with his cane.
Hiro [Max] calls McG and back to the morgue they shoot. The victim had benzodiazepines in her blood; roofies. McG’s cargo pants sigh and wonder why Hiro didn’t give them this information over the telephone. Hiro doesn’t trust phones and this line makes me laugh. I want to hug Hiro but I think it would scare him. HIRO!! CALL ME!!
Danno tells the girl to leave and the Roofier is all, “Dude, who do you think you are,” to which Danno says, “Well, frankly, Spice Girl…,” but is cut off by McG, who points at his shield and is very testosterone-y and frowny about the whole “Who do you think you are” question. The Roofier looks at McPanty Destroyer’s shield — at his crotch area — in a much stunned manner. I too would be stunned if presented with the opportunity to stare at McPanty Destroyer’s Fountain of Youth.
McG does a fancy dance move which would undoubtedly win him a Dancing with the Stars trophy and everyone starts shooting. CARLOS Po Go Yo makes a run for it but is immediately tackled by McG, who Krav Maga’s his a$$ into submission. There was a roundhouse kick in there and I only wish that the shot had been wider. I’m thinking it would be really very funny to one day learn that Alex O’Loughlin is a scaredy cat who spends his time crying in his trailer.