What happened so far? You read that in Part One here. Now the continuation.
Chinchin finds a camera hidden in Kidnapped Head’s crashed car and tweets the news to McG. McG stops posting Instaselfies and starts seriously searching Kidnapped’s house. He FOY-steers and a$$-flashes for a while and then there’s a chair scene! McS€x on legs turns his a$$ on the camera and proceeds to climb on top of a chair. The FUCUPs, cheering vehemently, are throwing gazillion panties at the screen. McA$$ finds a camera in the ventilation shaft. Danno finds messages consisting of creepy asthmatic breathing on the voice recorder.
McDanno are tracking the asthmatic creep’s cell signal in a wilderness dotted by homeless persons. McA$$ discovers a concealed entry into what could be a nuclear shelter or Führer’s bunker. Danno screams that he hates rats and that he’s not coming. (Here, Danno, shall I help you *come*?) McA$$ is surprised at Danno’s claustrophobia but bamfs happily off on his own. He locates the cell phone holder but the latter runs because he is stupid and forgets that he’s asthmatic. McA$$ chases him through what looks more like a gutter than a bunker.
The asthmatic rat lover is forced into daylight, which (together with Danno’s outstretched leg) brings him down. The Ratman stuffs a piece of paper in his mouth and tries to eat it. Either he’s that hungry or he emulates rats. McA$$ retrieves the paper, and it’s a newspaper cutting on the disappearance and reappearance of Kidnapped. Ratman, scared to death, believes he was taken by a flying spaghetti monster and experimented on, just like Kidnapped. He called her to share his experience and maybe invite her to hide in his gutter from surveillance.
Cat, dressed like a cross between a Prairie Girl and a Salvation Army Fashionista, brings to Chinchin some intel about Adam’s captors. Their conversation nearly bores me to my untimely demise. It’s much more fun when Cat dresses up undresses as a redhead elite companion and stalks some suspects. She ends up flirting with several Yakuza guys and gathering evidence while said guys are busy checking out her bikinied b00bs. I scream when she fishes a fingerprint kit out of her handbag: the handbag is something fugly and furry that just died!
Marx is recovering from his exposure to LSD in a private hospital room with a private nurse. Wait. She’s not a nurse but the flapper-cum-h00ker from the mock-horror screening! Is she Marx’s female companion? She’s surely a fellow geek, for she makes Marx promise that if there’s a zombie apocalypse, he will zombify her and give her zombie babies. How cute. Back at work, Marx discovers that Kidnapped and Ratman share a past of youthful delinquency. He walks in the H50h headquarters and announces the name of their kidnapper.
The Five-Ohs storm the house of a Doctor Moreau, the kidnapper, who almost found a cure for juvenile delinquency but then stumbled upon the ban of experiments on humans. There’s nothing in his house because Moreau is not an id!ot and has his lab elsewhere. Some boorish evidence leads the Five-Ohs back to the Dracula who threw the top-notch Hulloween party where less (dress) was more. Dracula admits to funding Moreau’s research because he wanted his own delinquent son to be exorcised into a sensible human being.
It takes for McBeast to smash Dracula’s glass of whiskey and scare him with a pic of dead Kidnapped to make him cooperate. The cure for criminality works, kind of, except it causes sudden blackouts. This is not very practical when you’re driving, which is what killed Kidnapped. Dracula is eager to stop Moreau from performing the procedure on his ne’er-do-well seedling and leads the Five-Ohs to Moreau’s den. There they find the dead doctor and the live Ne’er-Do-Well, the latter freaking out so that McBeast must give him his tender loving care.
In his bathroom, Danno is about to put on my panties when he looks up and freezes on the spot. Monkey used up the toilet paper and didn’t replace it! Danno summons Monkey for a lecture and detects that the juvenile delinquent who dressed his tree in the toilet paper was his very seedling! McS€x on legs returns from Wal-Mart, carrying as much beer as he can carry. Seeing Cat on the couch doing some Yakuza research, McRomeo pats her knee, offers her beer, and lights go out. On which Cat puts on her red head and they start s€xing.