Part One is right here. Now the continuation. Are you still following? Me so so. Uncle shows McTeam a wall of shame with polaroid pics of mean-looking bada$$es. McG picks one of them, promises it won’t hurt and the next thing he knows he is pushing the bada$$ hard against a wall. Aaww, the good old s€x boot camp McG styles! I approve. Bada$$ doesn’t. But then no one asked you, dumba$$ bada$$. *snort* Said A$$ knows nothing, but McBeast assigns him police watch.
McSis is so sick from her new nanny look that she has to be put in hospital. She also has salmonella or something. Eek. She tells McBro to take responsibility for traumatising Joan of Arc for life by putting her in temp foster care or to just take responsibility for Joan. So McUncle walks in the Five-Org@sm office with a buybee hanging from his neck. Danno howls with laughter like a howler monkey and so do I. *howl*
Cat is in the Blue Room. How did she get there? (Don’t tell me that through the door.) How come she’s abusing Five-Org@sm facilities? And why did she change in a Salvation Army outfit? Does she want to scare Yagu? For she has Yagu chained to a chair and she’s speaking dirty. She did her homework on Yagu’s life and times and now she’s blackmailing him. She even knows that he likes to wear men’s thongs. You got an A+, Cat.
McDanno are in the zoo. Is McBeast going to stick Danno in the howler monkeys’ cage? Nope. They plunder the visitors’ lockers because that’s what the key they found in Unfer’s gutter matches. And tada, there’s a bag of money! Cool, let’s go shopping! Oh no. McDanno bring the bag in their office as evidence. Chinjin, who’s been in charge of Joan of Arc, comes in, covered in poo and vomit. See, that’s why I dislike babies.
McUncle grabs the buybee and starts cuddling with her. I hope that Chinjin disinfected her, for Joan of Arc clearly got the salmonella from her adoptive mother. I can only bear this scene when imagining that McUncle is playing with a kitty. She’s a future FUCUP, for she’s drooling like h€ll. Then it’s Danno’s turn to babysit and he sucks at it because he lets her chew the confiscated banknotes. I hope they laundered the money.
Danno tells Joan of Arc a beast fable with a moral. Once upon a time, in the middle of nowhere, there lived a gorgeous black stallion. (Uncle Steve?) He belonged to Prince Charming. (Uncle Steve?) But there was an evil ogre. (Who’s this?) And the beast wouldn’t let the prince ride his very own horse. OH MY G@WD!! Really?! I may have just swallowed my tongue because I’m choking with laughter. The black stallion is the Camaro!
I’m daydreaming of riding Steve a stallion, Danno is daydreaming of riding a mare, and I’m sorry, I’m being explicit. Enough of that. Because Danno gets a call from a real estate agent and off he goes. Uhh! What’s with the real estate woman? Is she on heroin? She’s swaggering and swaying and looks like she’s about to jump at Danno’s head (heh, “head”) and r@pe him on the spot. Buybee or no buybee. Weirdly, Danno is flattered.
McStallion brings to Whatsafong some surveillance tapes to analyse. Wait. Whatsafong!! I thought you were dead, man! Huh. It took Show writers seven episodes to remember Whatsafong. Them mean b@stards. *hiss* Whatsafong does his analysing and IDs someone. It’s something about arms trade and other boring sh!t. I totally lost track of the plot because there were too many distractions. D@rn the plot, I don’t give a d@mn.
Because Danno is busy doing s€xing favours to the real estate woman, McChinjin surround the suspect’s house as they are. That is, in two. Hot pants Steve wants to storm in and shoot everyone, but Chinjin makes him call SWAT. There’s a shoot-out like on Guy Fawkes Day, two suspects are dead and one escapes. Chiant sardonically congratulates McG. Chiant is sooo taller than McG! Is that even possible? Is he a yeti or something?
Danno has finished with the cougar (something bad happened to her face and she looks like she’s hundred and one) and calls McBeast to the scene. They are enjoying the view from the balcony, which happens to overlook the zoo lockers of earlier. I’d hate to live next to a zoo and listen to howling howler monkeys all night. Anyway. McBeast jumps up at Joan of Arc being in the sun and he lovingly exchanges her cap for another cap.
It’s a delightful sunny afternoon, so Five-Org@sms and SWAT go hand in hand in the zoo. Before they even get in, McBeast and Chiant start a c0ck-off because they are both alpha male gorillas. Howler monkey Danno, who’s watching them from the balcony through binoculars, yells at them to zip it up. So they put their b@lls back in their s@cks and action! A veiled figure approaches the lockers, is grabbed by McG and it’s the Scrivener!
Poor Scrivener who hated her job is thrown in the Blue Room together with her boyfriend in crime. Oh, poor dear, she did it for love! I commiserate. McG gives her his eyes€xing so bad that she tells him all that he wants to hear and plenty of what he doesn’t. She was leaking Unfer’s intel to her boyfriend as she was transcribing it. But Unfer started to suspect something, so they needed to dispose of him to avoid jail. Good work. *evil grin*
The big finale! Unfer recorded a s€x tape for his kid. Oh, wait, it’s not a s€x tape! Pity. On the tape he speaks of honour, duty and other stuff totally suitable for the mental capacity of his four-year old son. Sadly, McG didn’t record a s€x tape, so Mary decides there’s nothing useful he could teach his niece. Sad eyes or not, Steve lets Mary leave and take the kitty kiddy with her. Cat completes her op successfully and gets her very own Five-Oh badge. Oh.